tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38402381712852451882012-01-29T11:50:38.827+09:00SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.comBlogger4351100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-37346809616843383432012-01-29T11:40:00.006+09:002012-01-29T11:50:38.837+09:00

We do. We totally say all of these things. It's like a fucking cult.

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-18091699655143005472012-01-25T07:34:00.004+09:002012-01-25T08:13:54.431+09:00

The saga continues with "They Might Be Geniuses". Little Awesome came home with papers for me to sign to have her tested for the 'Gifted and Talented' program.Before I signed, I thought we should have an important discussion about what it entailed. I sat her down at the sitting rug (the rug in our living room that we sit on because we don't have a couch cause geniuses don't bother with mundane

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-90427736098371333362012-01-23T12:22:00.003+09:002012-01-23T12:39:44.560+09:00

In my ongoing commitment to hypochondria, I went to the eye doctor sure my macula was totally degenerating. He said the inside of my eyeball looks shiny, like that of a much younger person. Forget that I can't see out of the fucking things, my eyeballs are young on the inside, which is where it matters!! Obviously!!Same with my goddamn face. If I ever bought alcohol or went to clubs, I might

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-24175619002979205122012-01-20T01:46:00.000+09:002012-01-24T01:49:51.881+09:00

BodyRock.Tv20/10SJLMe:23,25Sandbag Alt Shoulder SquatMe:4,4SJLMe:24,24Dive BombersMe:5,5SJLMe:25,25Sandbag CleanMe:6,6SJLMe:24,24Side to Side Donkey KickMe:24,28SJLMe:24,25Sit UpMe:4,4SJLMe:24,24Slide Under w/ SandbagMe:9,10

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-75169045949460815942012-01-17T10:44:00.000+09:002012-01-18T10:45:58.131+09:00

BodyRock.Tv5xMe:29.411) Lunge Twist – 10 reps2) Dive Bomber Burpee – 10 reps3) Jump Squat & Swing – 10 reps4) Ugi Push Off – 10 reps5) Sumo Squat – 20 reps

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-49581407156318841302012-01-14T09:00:00.006+09:002012-01-14T12:49:47.189+09:00

Are you annoyed at your kid's mediocrity? Is your kid just another face in the crowd? Does he or she not stand out in any way whatsoever? Did you know there was a way for them to instantly become the most brilliant, interesting, all around talented kid in school?It's easy!! Soooooooo easy!!! If you're like me, your kids go to a school where 'low income' really has no meaning. It could mean you

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-68294857968921006522012-01-09T01:40:00.002+09:002012-01-09T01:41:02.771+09:00

14 year old: Wait. Why can't he just work out?(And that pretty much sums up Captain America)

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-11903607584925412862012-01-08T03:27:00.003+09:002012-01-08T03:42:00.661+09:00

Top Five Regrets of the DyingFound this on Kelly Oxford's blog. She's my favorite blogger who I discovered on Twitter. She's the one who inspired my "We Watched a Shitty Movie" post. She does those from time to time with her kids and everyone thinks they're hilarious. They are my least favorite of her posts. I think my kids are way funnier. Apparently no one agrees.But guess what? I don't

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-34586504780651686932012-01-05T10:19:00.003+09:002012-01-05T10:51:57.145+09:00

Did you think there was a contraction worse than y'all? I didn't think so. Then I started my job at FuckingCapris and I'm surrounded by females (that's what we call women down here). These females grew up in the south and think it's cute/polite/nice to call everyone ma'am. And that, my friends is the worst contraction in the English language. You might not realize it until you've been called

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-81191728421797171332012-01-02T12:20:00.003+09:002012-01-02T12:26:26.280+09:00

In all my nearly dying from the closing shift at FuckingCapris, I fucking forgot to post a picture of our Christmas tree!(It's a broken office chair we found in the trash).

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-37974906834787187672011-12-30T12:04:00.002+09:002011-12-30T12:49:51.362+09:00

Everything was going great at work, then, suddenly, without warning, I got put on the closing shift, like, EVERY fucking night in a row. Guess what, third world, my problems are totally WORSE!Thanks to Santamas, FuckingCapris was open until midnight. Thank GOD, because pretty much NO ONE wanted to shop that late. It also meant that the earliest us 'closers' would be able to leave was one in

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-81995559091956094632011-12-21T08:37:00.001+09:002011-12-22T08:13:51.558+09:00

*Spoiler Alert*We watched Riding Hood and I recorded what my kids said the whole time and put it here. Why? Because the movie sucked and this is my blog. I do what I want. We live the edge of a dark forest . . . Why, dumbasses?So leave!They should sacrifice that kid and let the pig go.Why have a kid get the water if it's so dangerous? Those rules are too complicated. Kids can't follow

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-50496539888051270242011-12-19T00:39:00.003+09:002011-12-19T05:21:04.843+09:00

EDIT: I am officially obsessed with finding this 'pussycat cake'. I can't find a recipe anywhere. Please pray for me.BONUS!Old people are not wery stupid.I hope when I'm old, someone thinks I'm cute like a little unicorn

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-69560636229848032012011-12-14T03:46:00.003+09:002011-12-14T03:47:10.714+09:00

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-56675512735568764572011-12-09T12:15:00.002+09:002011-12-09T12:28:24.242+09:00

To all employees and customers:I deeply regret the T-shirt I wore to work today. Had I looked in the mirror today, or any other day I wore said article of clothing, I would have noticed that it is extremely see-through. Unfortunately, I didn't believe your awkward stares and pointed glances had anything to do with me. Also, don't confuse knowing my bra color with you having any sort of a

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-52601536066299975012011-12-07T07:44:00.004+09:002011-12-07T08:25:05.538+09:00

It happened one night. Maybe it was the craziness of the eight to midnight shift. Maybe it was the full moon in the cold starry sky. Maybe it was a new shipment of RockStar T-shirts we'd received that morning. It all tangled together and pulled apart and came out beautiful.I arrived at work expecting nothing. I find I'm rarely disappointed that way. I went downstairs with the rest of the

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-68262972338135742332011-11-28T11:44:00.004+09:002011-11-28T12:36:32.274+09:00

Having been dragged from the dungeons of stocking, into the light of customer service, I can say with unmitigated certitude, SuperFantabulous is NOT consumer friendly. Every interaction with any customer ends in the terrible everlasting sting of awkwardness. Me pretending like I want to help people is definitely the most embarrassing thing ever.Example. Today I had an retail encounter that

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-87524389334127912302011-11-25T09:43:00.002+09:002011-11-25T10:16:26.961+09:00

So after I landed the job at FuckingCapris, I went through an uncharacteristically ambitious moment. I thought it would be super cool to have two jobs. I applied, got accepted and met with manager type people. They were so into me they came to meet me at my house. The job wouldn't have started until January and it was short term. I could do it from home except for some traveling at the

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-69551094586928410182011-11-15T08:57:00.003+09:002011-11-15T12:01:52.923+09:00

Last week at work went swimmingly. Mostly because they cancelled all my shifts after my first day.At first I was suspicious. Sassy Pants called the first time. I suspected conspiracy. She was still pissed about my highly attuned hazing detector.I was annoyed. I complained to AwseomeCool"She's out to get me!""No. She. Isn't."Clearly he understands nothing about women and their reactions to

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-60395474680114617112011-11-09T05:00:00.003+09:002011-11-09T05:54:58.648+09:00

Had my first day of work and now I realize that the only thing worse than being unemployed is having a job. I got there early and ended up talking to the new store manager outside until someone who knew how to work the alarms showed up. I didn't realize this was a dangerous thing for me to do until well into the conversation because I was thinking too much about how she was nothing special and

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-15690714858982090192011-11-05T01:41:00.004+09:002011-11-05T02:31:10.006+09:00

I got my work schedule. Next week SuperFantabulous will be at your kankle pants wearing service starting at 5 AM all but two days next week.I'll be in my room, curled up in a ball for the rest of the day, in case anyone needs me.In more important news, a few months ago I found a book called Snow by Orhan Pamuk. It was amazing. Here's a summary from Wikipedia:Though most of the early part of

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-32701917270139004842011-11-03T10:14:00.006+09:002011-11-03T22:14:30.558+09:00

I got the job! (In case you didn't get what that last post was alluding to. I can be subtle as fuck when I want to be.)Last week I had training. Five other superstars and I watched videos, filled out paper work, and signed up for our employee discount. I out superstarred everyone by promptly forgetting my employee password that goes along with my employee discount, creating all kinds of

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-36762533896636149442011-10-30T07:08:00.001+09:002011-10-30T10:26:30.234+09:00

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-10099579843457702892011-10-27T21:53:00.005+09:002011-10-27T22:26:52.798+09:00

Anonymous said... "If your kids are not even in middle school then they are too young to watch Family Guy."Thanks. So. Much.

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-41305881807223435412011-10-26T23:55:00.002+09:002011-10-27T00:11:01.012+09:00

MinFantabulous: My friends asked me if I was christian or catholic. Me: Why were the only choices christian or catholic? Why not jewish?Her: Do I LOOK like a Finklestein?!Me: (stunned silence) What does a Finklestein look like? Her: They wear glasses and a black hat. Me: Why do you think that?Her: Because that's what they look like on Family Guy!!And that is how I realized that everything my kids

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-54279774804731889902011-10-23T06:20:00.002+09:002011-10-23T06:56:58.395+09:00

Guys? You forgot to tell me I looked like shit before I left the house! What'r'ya'good'fer?

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-91323078941543764012011-10-21T05:06:00.002+09:002011-10-21T05:14:39.234+09:00

I got the call today. I was told by BlackChild to let everyone know ahead of time so they can adequately prepare me to act like a normal person and thus have a chance in hell of getting the job.I called to schedule the interview was told I will be meeting with regional manager Joey and that I should bring my 'A Game.'I was like, "It's already been fuckin' broughten, Bitch!"And that's how I avoid

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-41472941873678103692011-10-19T22:04:00.010+09:002011-11-03T10:50:06.579+09:00

Have you read that book, The Secret? Neither have I, but it was mentioned in an episode of 30 Rock. Jenna was visualizing crazy things and, jeez, who needs to read the book when you can watch a joke about it? I'm living the secret now.Then I got a call from FuckingCapris! They wanted me to come in for an interview! Not exactly what I envisioned, but remember, I learned about the secret from a 10

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-52446131593446852552011-10-15T01:28:00.001+09:002011-10-15T01:28:01.215+09:00

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-64447126720972553182011-10-13T06:09:00.009+09:002011-10-13T23:53:28.193+09:00

Just when I think I'm done with all that people hating me vicariously bullshit, they're baaaaaack!It all started when I became completely convinced the world was seriously missing out by not reading my old posts. Who has the time and energy to click on that 'archives' button and get themselves off the first page of my blog? I certainly don't and I wrote the damn thing.I'm pretty sure I'm

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-6130930554355976022011-10-11T06:16:00.002+09:002011-10-11T06:19:56.568+09:00

Does this whole Amanda Knox thing make anyone else think it would be a good idea to go to your favorite foreign country, get convicted of a crime and spend several years in prison? She came out totally fluent and didn't have to mess with visa bullshit or pay for any hotels. The prisoners in Norway live better than our middle class. Think about it. #Loophole.

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-42993626657487101412011-10-06T23:58:00.002+09:002011-10-07T00:08:37.780+09:00

Now that I'm in CrazyHellTown for no apparent reason: Wow. Just wow. Wish I'd picked Denver Teaching fellows. Climbing on red rocks looks fun + healthy people! AwesomeCool saw a squashed armadillo by the side of the road on his way to work one day. It's by far the best thing that's ever happened in this city.Bonus! I feel I don't have to be quite so secretive. Who do I think I am, a rock

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-65270398327833327092011-10-06T00:59:00.002+09:002011-10-06T01:05:51.274+09:00

I'm officially out of the stupid fucking bullshit teaching program. They don't know it, but it was probably best for everyone involved that I not be unleashed on kids in the form of a chemistry teacher. Things could very easily blow up, swear constantly, and/or die.

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-18778718314104847892011-10-02T07:23:00.006+09:002011-10-02T08:16:41.727+09:00

I was not aware that RainyTown was the whitest city in America until I moved to CrazyHellTown. I'd heard rumors, but diversity was a huge deal to us! The teaching program had an English as a Second Language component built into it and a motto of 'Educational Justice for All Races'. We had Martin Luther King Boulevard! We were horrified every time something racist happened in cities where there

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-91030938451238683752011-09-25T10:59:00.004+09:002011-09-26T01:37:59.099+09:00

Oh oh oh oh oh! Hanging tough!I was not aware knowing the hanging tough dance was grounds for divorce, then I watched the video and I knew he was right.Transcript while watching the video:Kid 1: Did people really look like that in the 90's?Me: Yes and it was awesome.Me: That was an epic high five he just gave that girl!Kid 2: More like a sloppy, drunken high five.Me: Look he's so tough he's

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-38295077148693952182011-09-22T01:06:00.002+09:002011-09-22T01:09:32.543+09:00

A FaceBook friend turned 40. Instead of wishing her a happy birthday like all the other lame-os, I thought it would be funny to say, "How embarrassing. I'm never letting that happen to me." She thought it would be funny to unfriend me. In real life.

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-10135829073869987602011-09-20T22:57:00.005+09:002011-09-21T01:37:04.528+09:00

I decided it was time to have a talk with my 13 y/o. It was inspired by that retched Katy Perry song, 'Last Friday Night.' There's a lot of fucked up shit going in in that song. So much so that the entire song is pretty much shit coated in a gag-worthy saxophone solo.Me: Don't get so drunk that you black out. You'll kill all your brain cells and become retarded. Also never leave your drink

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-91195519573085326542011-09-20T00:47:00.004+09:002011-09-20T11:42:59.499+09:00

If you're talking about a teaching career, I'd rather set my hair on fire, however, after watching this video, I'm thinking maybe a fitness guru. Especially if it means you get to waterboard your clients.When really, really bored, resist the urge to cut your own hair. Failing that, find a good tutorial video on YouTube. Failing that, buy a hat and remember: It's just hair! It will grow out!! (

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-54157189888653560422011-09-12T21:50:00.004+09:002011-09-12T22:35:15.250+09:00

The only thing keeping me from jobfullness is the disturbing lack of jobs for 'lazy peoplel-haters.' It's discrimination I tell you!Thinking I might be due for yet another 'career' change (career is in quotes because I've never actually had one), I googled, 'jobs for people who hate people.' I left off the lazy part because perfect jobs don't exist in this imperfect world. Surprisingly, I

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-85723498085470127822011-09-05T11:50:00.002+09:002011-09-05T12:32:17.233+09:00

So we've been back in CrazyHellTown for about a month and I am still completely unemployed. I know. I'm as shocked as you are. With my work ethic and tendency to flash national monuments, who in their right mind wouldn't be begging me to come teach their kids? Now . . . Given the following facts: A) We are a one car family. B) Everywhere in CrazyHellTown is at least a mile away from

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-23013434940318027652011-08-28T09:37:00.008+09:002011-08-30T00:53:52.252+09:00

Two of my favorite bloggers have actually asked my advice! Inflate my ego! Inflate to your heart's content! (while my YinzerFantabulous didn't actually ask my advice, he did reference my six pack in a recent blog, so he totally counts.) And I know all the rest of you must just be dying to know what fuels the fire that is Superfantabulous too, so I decided to be super helpful and show you via a

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-79591779528998128092011-08-27T02:42:00.005+09:002011-08-27T03:31:01.530+09:00

I know I wanted to move someplace where I could actually see the sun in wintertime, but Jesus Fucking Christ! Did I have to pick the place where the 103 is considered 'cool-ish'? I thought I could handle it. After all, my marathon stints in the sauna are well documented. Back at MY gym in RainyTown, I'm known as 'The Sauna Queen.' Yeah. I'm THAT awesome. And at first I was pretty sure I

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-6250457538927030162011-08-22T09:11:00.002+09:002011-08-22T10:13:07.472+09:00

First of all, let me impress you with the hardship I have endured. Ever since we took our wonderful, amazing android smart phones back last Christmas, I have been using a Trac Phone. Not even a cool Trac Phone. No camera, no apps, no nothing. Just calls and texting using the old school 'push 2 three times to get c' texting. Somehow I survived. Mostly because I ruined some guys Christmas by

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-39437072424445767272011-08-19T03:05:00.003+09:002011-08-22T09:23:26.014+09:00

Registration for the Little and Mini's schools was last week and this week. Little Awesome's school did it right. They gave us the paperwork, sat us in the cafeteria, copied our documents and we left. What we didn't have right then and there (such as Little-Awesome's grades), we could bring by later. Easy. Zero bullshit. I had immediate and enduring problems with the the way

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-49167251958122711932011-08-13T04:50:00.003+09:002011-08-13T05:30:59.630+09:00

Having read AwesomeCool and my adventures in CrazyHellTown from June, you might have noticed, we're not the best planners. Naturally when the move is for reals, dragging children, belongings, a bird (almost. He narrowly escaped death by heat stroke and or freaking out endlessly in the confines of his gerbil cage for the duration of a 2000+ mile car trip, when at the last minute I realized

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-48874623580005750612011-08-07T02:09:00.002+09:002011-08-07T02:42:29.824+09:00

We made it 1500 miles in four days of driving. By the fourth day I was pretty sure I was about to go completely insane.For one thing, Mr. AwesomeCool suddenly turned completely pussy about my driving. So what if when I peel a banana I tend to swerve toward the wilderness? I always stay on the road, Baby!His new found phobia reached its peak when I tried to eat yellow curry soup while driving.

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-82201476330751782652011-07-27T09:00:00.006+09:002011-08-07T03:55:53.265+09:00

Here I am stranded in TinyRainyAsFuck Town, Alaska. I despise this place for its rainyness, it's nothing to do but hunt and fishness, its no such thing as organic health food-ness (unless you go out into the rain and harvest it yourself. Shudder) and its not getting dark until 2 am-ness. I am a delicate creature. I need my things. I need my things exactly how I want them.I brought all manner

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-85779638161759663952011-07-24T07:04:00.004+09:002011-07-24T07:32:15.998+09:00

Have been back in the city of my SuperFantabulous birth for about four days. Nothing much has happened, except that I realize I like greenness and hillness and turn-laneness and drinkable waterness much more than I've ever liked anything.I got up at 2:00 in the morning the day of my flight to get my workout in. Before you think I'm totally bonkers, my six pack made me do it. I have no control

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-34410618906405274152011-07-19T11:53:00.008+09:002011-07-19T23:44:06.531+09:00

Sometimes I just have to sit back and wonder:What the fuck is wrong with me?Seriously. How do I get myself into these horrendous situations?Why did I ever think teaching in a fucking god-fearing, Palin loving, big truck driving city was a good idea?CrazyHellTown has got to be one of the ugliest cities I have ever seen. If strip malls and ranch houses are your thing, come on over to this fucking

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-77995695230289172872011-07-17T23:05:00.004+09:002011-07-17T23:18:34.831+09:00

I kind of wish I'd been blogging the whole time through that horrible ordeal. I worked harder during that six weeks than I've ever worked in my life (except maybe the time I was taking 16 credits including calculus and physics at the same time)I would literally spend 15 hours both Saturday and Sunday planning lessons and doing the program homework.It was a nightmare.Now that I'm finished, I

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-38352541367403257852011-07-08T09:26:00.006+09:002011-07-08T09:56:46.727+09:00

Lest you think that everything I say on this blog is a complete and utter exaggeration or fabrication, I've decided to grace you with evidence of how SuperFantabulous my fashion sense is.First of all, let me preface this by saying that CrazyHellTown is fucking hot. Let me also preface this by saying that I'm a crazy, stubborn, bitch. It's 101 today. Did I turn the air conditioner on in my

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-56025643466777284372011-07-02T09:45:00.005+09:002011-07-03T09:05:05.167+09:00

Taught calculating empirical formulas from percent composition. The kids totally learned. It was awesome.I find myself infinitely more sexy when I think of myself as a high school chemistry teacher.I've been bragging on facebook for weeks now, because thanks to studying like some kind of type a, perfectionist, over-achiever every weekend, I have gained a few uber-sexy skills:1. I know the

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-77651762713859981522011-07-01T09:04:00.003+09:002011-07-01T09:30:32.715+09:00

Chemistry summer school! What wonderful feelings does that sentence bring into your head? I got through the first semester by studying at least 10 hours a week and spending four hours on lesson plans. Why? Because I have realized something about myself:I AM NOT A SCIENTIST!Truth be told, had I thought there was a chance in hell I would ever get a job with an English, creative writing or

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-52246574190956699732011-06-18T08:19:00.003+09:002011-06-18T08:47:45.848+09:00

At the teaching program, we have three hours of instruction every day. Now that I've upped my SuperFantabulousness significantly be teaching chemistry from 7:30 to 1:00 my being able to sit through three hours of re-learning stuff I read before coming here is not going well.Example: Today I was selected to be leader of our group. You might not believe this, but leadering is not my thing. I

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-19699790388519386062011-06-14T12:01:00.004+09:002011-06-15T01:27:59.285+09:00

What's the best way to get to know the locals when you've moved to a CrazyHellTown? If you answered anything but: Go ballistic on them in the Natural Grocers, you are totally lame.Imagine you're in the Natural Grocers. You just stopped by the Thrift Store where you found a pair of knee high boots. They were very much too small (they're a nine, you wear a ten and a half), but you were in a weird

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-70380832211730840292011-06-13T00:12:00.006+09:002011-06-17T09:30:59.772+09:00

Having been in CrazyHellTown for a week, I now consider myself a complete expert. So here's a short list of things I took for granted back in RainyTown that I never thought I'd miss:1. Turn lanes. Who would have thought something so simple could be fucked up? When you're new to a giant sprawly town, the last thing you want is to have to drive another mile to the next stop light because you

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-82499293224158888812011-06-09T11:40:00.005+09:002011-06-09T12:31:50.543+09:00

I may have said before that: me + people = disasterThis is not always true. Sometimes I can pull it together and behave in a way that doesn't constantly frighten or offend the unfortunate souls that for whatever reason happen to be surrounding me at any given moment.Today was not such a day. Here's why:First. Manfriend (formerly known as awesomecool. He no longer updates his blog. Therefore

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-29404915915740797232011-06-08T12:35:00.005+09:002011-06-09T21:53:44.559+09:00

For those of you who don't know, I'm now somewhere very hot, very flat and very strange. I'll have to think of a name for this fictional-type city. SweatyFuckTown? HotFlatSprawllyShitCity? I don't know.All I can say so far is that anywhere that has a Whole Foods every two blocks is somewhere I might be able to get along with.That is unless in my excitement at encountering a tower of cheap

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-91398818194642632702011-06-05T23:31:00.003+09:002011-06-06T06:42:49.359+09:00

The only part that I don't like about going someplace new is the actual leaving. Even the thought of leaving can cause me to burst into uncharacteristic and wildly embarrassing tears. Even if I fucking hate the place I'm saying goodbye too. For example, on my last day in my Korean school I had pretty much decided I wanted to live in my school for the rest of my life, rather than bear the

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-6141090722102547932011-06-03T01:35:00.002+09:002011-06-05T03:37:21.573+09:00

I have recently noticed a disturbing trend. Though I've had this blog for, like, three years, I'm not super famous and adored by millions and millions of little derelict nutjobs just like yourselves.In fact, I haven't had a new Derelict Nutjob in over a year. WTF? Given that I'm pretty sure I'm the best thing that's happened to the universe since sprouted wheat bread toast smothered with

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-32995841968976821302011-05-29T06:31:00.003+09:002011-05-29T06:53:04.184+09:00

So one of my many genius aunts suggested that I post more info about my book on my blog. She said associating it with another wildly popular book will bring unsuspecting readers and possibly prospective publishers in. I find this all highly theoretical, yet I'll never pass up a chance to ridicule doofy books written by doofy people. Thus, doth go the odd comparison to THE WORST BOOK OF ALL

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-46501532252474782572011-05-24T02:40:00.003+09:002011-06-01T01:34:07.939+09:00

So it's been decided. We're going to the far away state to pretend like we have anything to offer high needs children in a high needs school for a year.I think my only option is to be dragged along in a semi-comatose state. After having a complete meltdown this weekend, I discovered two things:1. Crying actually does make you feel better! I hate crying. I don't like it when I do it and I

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-4817011713429544792011-05-20T03:01:00.010+09:002011-06-01T01:44:02.607+09:00

Your Teen is a sensitive creature. She is also dangerous. Doing things such as trying to listen to NPR while she's trying to get her Britney on could lead to an unexpectedly vicious attack.Rather than go through all that each and every time a Katy Perry song came on, I made the choice a very long time ago, to surrender the radio to My Teen. While it was agonizing and might have caused several

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-78426282892396722042011-05-18T01:05:00.006+09:002011-05-21T09:22:56.734+09:00

My sister confessed that besides the horror of The Thing, the other reason she wouldn’t take a picture was that she felt I shouldn’t have a picture that showed my face on my blog.“Why?” I demanded, wondering what exactly what it was she thought was wrong with my face.“Hello! People wanted to kill you!”“Yeah, but they mostly got over it!” “Well, eventually someone will probably want to kill you

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-17527439286606434912011-04-21T01:22:00.000+09:002011-04-22T02:05:25.201+09:00

Glenn Beck goes vegan.What. The. Fuck.Paradox much?How do we realign the order of the universe after the dumbest, craziest man in the world does something smart and sane?I feel significantly less cool now!!! Glenn Beck and I share core values!! We're part of the same extremist group!! Glenn beck is crazy and dumb therefore I must be crazy and dumb, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary.

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-89424809127109798302011-04-20T03:11:00.006+09:002011-04-21T02:09:33.629+09:00

It's been two weeks since my debilitating, life shattering injury. Lucky for me, I have many close, personal friends in the medical industry who are kind enough (badgered) into giving me advice on my many (mostly imaginary) ailments.One of them is an absolutely amazing physical therapist. He agreed to meet me a few days ago for what I thought was going to be a rehabilitative, fun time.After

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-24278679767665108552011-04-12T08:38:00.007+09:002011-04-13T01:21:31.176+09:00

Day five of absolutely no exercise. It's kind of killing me. You might think I enjoy working out but that's soooooooo not the case. I'm in it for the feeling you get the second you're done with all that nonsense and you don't have to do it again for 24 hours. The harder you push during that hour the better the payoff. Sublime.Just in case any other exercise junkies have put themselves on the

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-31819161240515312832011-04-07T01:20:00.008+09:002011-04-07T03:40:25.305+09:00

Ok, so that whole putting Yinzer on the sidebar instantly thing was a slight exaggeration. It took his super sexy reply to my unabashed 'Yinzer Love' post of a few days ago to remind me. But for reals, this time. For really, reals, it's totally going to be there.I'm just going to say one more thing and then I'll stop the gushing, because this blog love could go on forever and ever. Seriously,

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-43222330312989609042011-04-05T09:26:00.004+09:002011-04-22T01:55:28.091+09:00

I got into every teaching program I applied too. Both the Alternative Certification things and the local University things totally want me. I am just that awesome. So what if I'm 35 and living with family and driving my aunts car. That does not diminish my coolness factor one bit, so please, just accept it and move on.Mr. AwesomeCool got accepted first so I was seriously pissed off and

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-79898741508936678192011-04-02T06:11:00.004+09:002011-04-02T06:37:48.470+09:00

Whenever I find a blogger who makes me question my own degree of fabulousness, I naturally have to share it, so you can also share in my feelings of not quite as cool as I thought-ness. I also have to spend a few weeks gushing and slobbering all over them until they feel uncomfortable and just wish I would leave them alone. I'm not the type to go out seeking great blogs. That's waaaaaay to

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-10206013615635974022011-03-18T09:20:00.003+09:002011-03-19T05:38:25.929+09:00

My Wild Teen although at times absolutely confounding has proven to be a much less frightening animal than I anticipated. She has many astoundingly un-teen traits:1. She does not like boys. Any boys. No Justin Bieber, no Brad Pitt (despite the dramatic age difference, I kinda thought his sexy was timeless). No one in her class. No one anywhere. 2. Except on rare occasions, all she wants to do

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-45195260607718787192011-03-17T08:26:00.003+09:002011-03-17T09:10:34.660+09:00

As a superfluous part of our conversation on my hematoma, my sister was able to cure my brain tumor over the phone. She is truly gifted as a healer. It turns out the symptoms of a brain tumor you might have approached Dr. Google with are shockingly similar to the symptoms you might experience if you're not eating enough. Things such as light headedness, fatigue, memory problems, headaches etc,

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-56200348768696453792011-03-10T03:00:00.004+09:002011-03-10T03:22:02.865+09:00

There are few things more pleasurable for an underachieving hypochondriac than having an over-achieving sibling in the medical field (aside from the whole having a younger sister that’s way cooler than you’ll ever be aspect).Remember back in Korea when my legs went to sleep and I was 99% sure I was dying of a spinal tumor? Remember how Dr. Korea shocked the shit out of my leg (most definitely

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-31460058881881746962011-03-04T03:15:00.002+09:002011-03-04T04:07:39.184+09:00

Mr. AwesomeCool and I have always committed to being a one car family. This was great when we were smart enough to be living in the same house that was close to everywhere we needed to go.Now that we've spiraled off into a whole new tangent of stupid, we've been one car short.Southern Goat Land, was a veritable used car lot. Mr. AwesomeCool used the SuperFantabulous Grandparents car to drive to

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-6274703502857859792011-02-19T10:04:00.004+09:002011-02-26T10:05:37.744+09:00

Lately, I've been stressed out. I tend to not realize this, preferring to ignore unpleasant feelings, until they sulk away, to dark corner where they coalesce into a frightening conglomeration of dark thoughts. Sometimes these feelings burst out at inappropriate times in the form of some kind of yelling, finger pointing session.Another, even less pleasant sign that I may have been ignoring

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-85309374312108916732011-02-15T07:08:00.003+09:002011-02-15T08:12:23.830+09:00

I don't know if any of you knew this, but there is a very strong correlation between how much you eat and how much you weigh.I agree! It's totally shocking news!Were you aware that after a few months of preferring to shoot yourself in the head rather than cook even one more dinner, you could wake up to find yourself looking totally anorexic?I know. I had no idea either.I never thought it could

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-18060580036567490332011-02-10T09:22:00.004+09:002011-02-10T10:19:04.167+09:00

When I think of myself, this song comes to mind:In case anyone tries to tell you it isn't possible to finish the shitloads of tests, application bullshit and the battles with postal postal workers to get your application turned in in less than three months, tell them, "Fuck off! SuperFantabulous did it and so can I!"More importantly, I kicked Mr. AwesomeCool's ass on the one test he managed to

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-45242212450075126722011-02-05T07:12:00.002+09:002011-02-05T07:25:18.763+09:00

In true Superfantabulous form, I decided to not wait for the votes to come in (everyone seems to have forgotten me anyway so there probably wouldn’t have been votes of statistical significance) and went withA: Confront the mother fucker.I park in front of the post office and hand my phone to Mini-SuperFantabulous who is staunchly against my choice of option A."What is going confronting him going

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-62133972919982427352011-02-04T02:31:00.002+09:002011-02-04T02:49:56.234+09:00

A few days ago, I posted about the postal worker who was super pissed I showed up two minutes before closing with my graduate school application. After I mailed the package, with tracking, I went down to Southern Goat town because Mini-Superfantabulous had yet another 'budget reduction four day weekend'. I checked my tracking obsessively, sure that Postal Douchebag had thrown my package in the

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-86478776628674779852011-01-29T14:04:00.004+09:002011-01-29T14:51:25.435+09:00

Dear, sweet Derelict Nutjobs,Your Dear Leader has been terribly remiss. You may have lost faith in my ability to string words together in a mostly coherent diatribe about nothing. You may have even lost faith in my ability to be living and breathing.Fear not!! I'm not the type to get bored with myself, or things to do with me or even breathing for that matter. I have just been extremely

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-76433291773505011162011-01-08T04:29:00.004+09:002011-01-08T09:47:09.656+09:00

When we got back to the US, we felt it would be important for us to have phones so all our many, many prospective employers could contact us to offer us any number of high-paying dream jobs. Since we were pretty sure our homeland sucked and we wouldn't be sticking around, we bought Track Phones.Actually, I stole my sister's track phone and Mr. AwesomeCool got nothing! Hahaha!Then I realized that

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-19354770053862452792010-12-26T06:09:00.004+09:002010-12-26T07:05:47.040+09:00

For a lovely Christmas present, I offer you my lesson plans. Some of you may say, "Thanks for nothing SuperFantabulous, my Winter camps are over!"To those of you, I say, "Stop being a whiny fucking bitch! Use them for Summer! No one will know the difference!"You should also know that I designed these lessons to require the least amount of effort. You might also notice my spacing and punctuation

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-77617071580339892322010-12-16T06:33:00.003+09:002010-12-16T07:05:14.776+09:00

When I moved in with my Uncle, I found him to be in a very sorry state. His wife had retreated with her goats to Southern Goat Town almost a year ago and hasn't been back since. She left him with several drawers full of movies to entertain himself.Unfortunately due to her inability to put movies back in their case and put them away, at least 90 percent of the cases are empty.Given this terrible

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-6513795040749869322010-12-10T06:17:00.004+09:002010-12-10T06:38:19.245+09:00

So I've applied for, like, a thousand jobs since I've been back. Recently, being separated from my Little-Awesome is starting to get to me. Since Mini-Fantabulous is entrenched in RainyTown, with her ballet, her NDN programs (I just got that from Ironhead over on An Idiots Board. It's very hipster, n'est pas?), I figured it was time for us all to relocate to where I was.Then Mr. AwesomeCool

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-68066250866289608962010-12-02T06:13:00.003+09:002010-12-02T06:48:19.834+09:00

Using internet at the public library all day has become my thing. Today my library time was significantly reduced when I sat in the car for an hour at Mini-Fantabulous's school with the lights on.Looking back, I can't remember why the fuck I was sitting there for an hour, let alone with the lights on. I just remember the annoyance and confusion that overwhelmed me when I tried to turn the car

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-73650560436155463782010-11-25T04:53:00.003+09:002010-11-25T05:55:47.494+09:00

My first Thanksgiving in two years is about to happen. Last year I was in Korea, the year before last I was in Spain with the Little Awesome and Mini-Fantabulous. I had no Mr. AwesomeCool to cook for us, so I didn't tell them it was Thanksgiving. All was not sucky, though, I think I might have taken them to The German's for french fries. Yay! Traditionally, I am in charge of making the pumpkin

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-73485176294712319342010-11-20T06:29:00.005+09:002010-11-23T07:42:08.518+09:00

Whenever I tell people that Mr. AwesomeCool is living in Southern Goatville and I'm living in ShitFuckRainyTown, they get a weird expression on their faces. Not because I have strange and profane names for our towns, but because they automatically assume that Mr. AwesomCool and I are separated, separated."Ohhhhhhh . . . " They say, then they wait for me to explain the details of our illustrious

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-80476165080804251152010-11-18T05:03:00.003+09:002010-11-18T05:32:34.900+09:00

Apparently, my minions haven't learned their lesson. Mr. AwesomeCool is back in South Goat Land and reporting a filthy mess.In addition to bitching about them on his blog, rather than doing anything about it, he also accuses me of being a slovenly dirt bag! I vacuumed that basement every fucking day and every fucking day it would end up covered in chicken shit, straw and cracked corn. Don't ask

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-18141155730031744382010-11-10T12:12:00.005+09:002010-11-10T14:19:46.692+09:00

The most astute among you probably had some kind of bet going, even if it was only with yourselves. Maybe something along the lines of, "How Long Until SuperFantabulous Looses Her Shit Over Something Completely Stupid!?"It was bound to happen. How long could a clean freak like me live in a house full of people who consider it perfectly reasonable to spill beans and rice all over the counter and

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-67196742935384875712010-11-08T11:22:00.005+09:002010-11-09T02:33:23.311+09:00

There was fog. Then there were clouds. Then came the rain. I went outside, the wind blew cold, wet drops in my face.I went to the store. Auntie called. She said Grandma wanted 'Whipped Topping' for her jello. I resisted the urge to give a very detailed lecture on why both those things were the devil. I bought organic heavy whipped cream instead. I'm such a fucking rebel.I told her we were

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-20424374150019786942010-11-06T02:08:00.002+09:002010-11-06T02:47:47.116+09:00

The Fam decided it needed an wood stove insert in the fireplace. The guy who's going to put it in called. I answered the phone since my Aunt was out blowing leaves around the yard again."I'm at your back door." He said."I seriously doubt it." I answered, trying to ignore the innuendo."What?" He said."There is no back door here."He was at Grandma's sister's house. Grandma and Grandma's sister

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-79602657786250911332010-11-05T00:05:00.003+09:002010-11-05T00:41:05.476+09:00

First of all, I want to know what kind of sick fuck decides to start school at 7.50? Waking up when it's still dark is worse torture than water-boarding. I'm pretty sure.In other news, I made Korean pumpkin soup for dinner last night.Everyone groaned in disgust."Is that all we're having?""Mr. AwesomeCool usually makes a variety!""We're used to having 3 or 4 things!""What the fuck is that orange

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-72703617964312535432010-11-04T02:24:00.002+09:002010-11-04T03:12:15.025+09:00

Just for super duper fun, I thought I'd post some of the jobs I've applied to so far:Teacher Assistant - Our school seeks an assistant for an upper elementary(grades 4-5-6) classroom. Candidates must have experience working with students. · Bachelor’s degree required, experience working with children the age level of the desired position/assignment, Experience working in an educational

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-18696853903328078072010-11-03T11:12:00.012+09:002010-11-04T00:42:17.998+09:00

ShitFuckRainyTown was living up to it's name. There were four days in a row where I didn't see the sun. I started to feel like my soul was slipping out my butthole. And I couldn't think straight. It was a dangerous situation. I knew it was time to go.So I came down here and found that Mr. AwesomeCool had become an indentured servant. He was doing all the cooking and cleaning. I was

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-10497268811517575242010-11-03T01:31:00.002+09:002010-11-04T00:41:14.568+09:00

In response to the poll over at An Idiot's Guide To KoreaSince being back, I have twice I dreamed I went back to Korea, but then I have also dreamed twice that was doing it with a chick. I didn't think it meant anything, so I applied to a job in Guatemala.

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-43920817710725663372010-11-01T13:51:00.004+09:002010-11-01T14:07:35.325+09:00

But I have no phone. A sad situation indeed.One of my BFFs and former internet loves (oh how I loved smiting you five times a day!) stopped by and dropped a comment:Ironhead said...Getting back home is a bear, all right. I told you it would be. :(Do I have your express permission to start an official "How Long till Superfantabulous Returns to the Land of the Mongol?" poll over on the board?

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-67063854784943285862010-10-29T09:00:00.006+09:002010-10-30T01:30:39.819+09:00

My BFF and former internet crush (sorry, my Husky Friend, I'm totally in love with Prestige Korea now) has made a serious allegation against his SuperFantabulous. Here's what he had to say:Mr. Awesomecool and Superfantabulous left the country and their blogs have become subsequently boring.My response? I've been to several Asian countries now, therefor I consider myself an expert on all things

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-56514801568242478332010-10-29T02:44:00.004+09:002010-10-29T03:09:29.663+09:00

On me! JK.Having also had my life, kids lives and my job threatened while blogging in Korea, I can totally relate. Worrying about some angry Korean breaking into your house and stabbing you in the throat with a chopstick while you sleep is no picnic.I also came a cunt hair away from shutting down my blog. For whatever crazy reason, I didn't. Instead, I stopped calling them Roundheads. They

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-3323052378972958842010-10-28T05:21:00.003+09:002010-10-28T05:48:02.017+09:00

What's the absolute best thing that can happen when you've just moved back to Shit-Fuck-RainyTown, you're homeless, jobless, internetless, phoneless, washing machine-less, your bathtub is in perilous danger of falling through the floor, you have a DVD player, but the remote is lost, so if you have to stop the movie it is extremely likely that, rather than stopping, it will go back to the very

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3840238171285245188.post-55778657850221774132010-10-23T05:54:00.004+09:002010-10-24T04:39:05.736+09:00

The most common question I get:1. What are you going to do now?Answer: Fuck if I know.So far, I haven't been doing much other than cleaning and attempting to dissuade my uncle's house from deteriorating before my eyes. Yesterday Mini-Fantabulous was taking a marathon shower upstairs, while downstairs, the ceiling was bulging downward and dripping. I ran upstairs and yanked her out of the shower

SuperFantabuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07723239950991682938noreply@blogger.com3